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Endometriosis

Woke up this morning with tears in my eyes..

Follow up yesterday. It worries me to see what’s under the dressing. I want to remove the dressing but I also got used to it. it also my first time out of the house in 1 week, everything seems different outside, brighter, noisier, endless space.

We waited for Dr Ang for about 1 hour, she’s in an emergency c-section. She asked how I am and shared with me the report of my surgery. Its confirmed the 2 cysts are endometriosis and I have a p-something. (I forgot the name and cant find my medical report..) the report also show something about my womb. If I am an older woman, the doc would suggest removing the entire womb as it would lead to cancer.

Dr Ang wants me to go through with the entire treatment for endometriosis. Brochure: Decapeptyl CR is effective in inhibiting endometrial tissue growth. This eventually results in the decrease in size of endometrial tissues.

She removed my dressing and the stitches. She made kervin stand beside me and hold my hands. The injection to tummy was painful. Dr Ang describes the injection as a burning sensation.

We will try for baby next year. I asked Dr Ang what about removing my womb and she say we will cross the bridge when it happens, usually happens at 40. Meanwhile, let’s try to start a family.

The injection is $500 each, total of 3 injections.

Money is not an issue, my insurance cover it. My surgery cost is covered by insurance as well.

We made a pact to tea break at Delifrance. The tears just came. Why is it so freaking easy for others but not me? Whoever up there felt that I am not ready to be a mum..more time to do whatever I want, clear my always wanted list. But why do I have to go through so much more than the average mum? why didn’t we try for baby once we got married? I don’t regret the past 3 years with kervin. Fights aside, he’s been a fantastic husband.

I asked him yesterday.. would he leave me? I am going to bring a lot of problems and heartache. He promises to stand by me. I asked him too, is it fair to have a child? What if something happen to me? What is he and the child gotta do? What will happen to my vin vin?

The pain from the needle is nothing compare to the heartache.

life is what you make of it. I am going to be upset for a couple of days, but I don’t believe in sulking for too long. I just been through a surgery, I should cheer up and stay positive.

– G

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22k in ONE weekend

It’s such a sad experience, pack my bag for 1 night hospital stay..

Sentosa: so nice that vin fulfilled my little wish. Beach, cycling was a bonus. He promised to take me to the beach when I am feeling better.

I’m on the kiasu side, had salad for dinner on thur, non-solid food on fri to help with laxatives. 1 pack of laxatives mixed with 1L of water was a tough challenge! Started drinking the water at 3.30pm and finished at 8.45pm, the diarrhea only started next morning at 5.30am !!

We reached Gleneagles at 11.50am, admission and waited for the porter to bring us to my room. How strange to have a porter !!

I didn’t know what to do with myself while waiting for the surgery, hang out with my family. Felt so strange sitting on the hospital bed..

The nurses came to get me at 3pm. I got on the bed and was push to the waiting area. Mum & jie came in to jia you me… left vin & i. Both of us hold back our tears.. Dr Pang came to have a little chat with me.

3.50pm, wave goodbye to vin and the nurses push me into the operating theatre. The sudden thought that I should quit my job and work in a non-profit organisation.
At the operating theatre, Dr Pang started the drip and the nurses attached some wires on me.

45 mins wait, Dr Ang was late. I looked at the big clock in the room, listened to the nurses chattering and singing, fell aslp, think abt life, should I cancel the surgery (stupid thought), look around the room, thinking that vin must be worried..
Dr Ang arrived. She shared with the nurses the procedure. Dr Pang came and he say gotta give me something to made me calm and relax.

Bang ! that’s it.

The next thing I remember was I saw a nurse and kervin. I was being push to a room. I looked at the clock and got a shock ! its already 8.30pm ! what happened ??!

Drift in and out of sleep. remember callie sat on the sofa eating bread, my sis asked kervin whether he want any bread or soup, I asked vin what’s the complication? How come the surgery took so long? (3.5 hour instead of 2 hours) I grabbed his hand and told him ‘vin, don’t go’

Kervin was the last to leave hospital that night about 12am, he’s not allow to stay as it’s a 2 bedded room, single rooms are not available. It wasn’t that bad staying at the hospital by myself. only woke up when the nurses came in to measure my blood pressure and temp. She came in with a bed pan and asked me to urine, otherwise have to seek alternate way for me to pee. Yeap ! managed to do so, the pain wasn’t as bad.

Luckily, I told vin to leave my phone beside me. I remember checking the time on my mobile and counting down to 7.30am, to see kervin again.

The nurse asked whether I want to be wipe and I say yes. She came in again hand me toothbrush. I brush my teeth in bed. She gave me a good wipe and I went to sleep again.

I was shocked to discovered there’s a container of excess fluid attached to my body !!

kervin came at 7.30am and there’s an alarm coming from my neighbour’s bed. The alarm was going crazy and I got kervin to look for a nurse. My neighbour’s drip was running low.. I thought something happen to her !

Dr Ang came in the morning and shared with me about the cysts, my condition was more extreme den she thought, my 2 ovaries are struck together (How is this possible?!) , my intestines are affected as well. She instructed the nurse to make me walk to the bathroom; she can only discharge me if I am able to walk. I can choose to stay for another night or to go home at 5pm.

Removed my drip, went to the bathroom. Wow, single room bathroom come with crabtree and evelyn stuff.

I choose to stay for another night. Single room are available and I swap room. Ahhhhh, so quiet in the single room. Happy that kervin can stay for the night. My family (plus jen) and his family came to visit.

Dr Ang called and scolds me for not walking. Vin help and I managed to walk to the bathroom !

Vin has to pay $85 for staying, meals are complimentary ! mil cooked fish & pork ball soup, watched masterchef, chit chat and it’s time for bed. I couldn’t sleep much.. woke up at 3.30am, watched re-run, vin woke up at 6am. We ate bread. Went to sleep again at 6.30am ! haha

Had breakfast, mee sotong with fish for me, western breakfast for him. Dr Ang came again to check on me. The nurse changed my dressing, signed the release form, the bill was send to the room from 1 staff. Shock of my life: 22k

22k – 5k medisave = 17k
Thank you to insurance company !

The porter came with a wheelchair, I couldn’t stop smiling ! I AM GOING HOME !! 🙂

The longest 20 metres walk from the carpark to home, took about 20mins. Could only do half a step with vin vin help. Love that man.

The first couple of days were a struggle, tears a few times. Try not to think of my condition and the surgery. Positive and happy thoughts. Swelling for a couple of days, couldnt sleep, pace around the room until 4am, worried about the swell..

Its been a week.. going for my doc appt shortly. I forgotten about the injection until vin told me. i must have gave him the ke lian look coz he started telling me I don’t have to do it during this medical appointment. Give me some time to adjust.

Looking back.. the worse moments:
– finding out about the 3 cysts
– Go to work, pretend to be normal.
– discover that I am the one who couldn’t conceive because of endometriosis (hopefully I can conceive after the surgery and injection)
– finding out I have 3 cysts and 1 fibroid
– The fight with vin
– tube of excess fluid
– the first bed pan after my surgery
– sleeping on my back
– 20 metres walk to home
– Pacing around the room coz of swelling

– G

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Endometriosis

3 weeks of roller-coaster, I was either trying to live life as normal, be strong, be happy or I was sulking and lotsa little crying session by myself.

Everybody say its just a common surgery but its normal to be scare and worried right?

Went for a 2nd opinion and was diagnosed with endometriosis. I have most /all the symptoms but no red flag. Heavy menstruation, I thought it’s normal. Cramp, I thought its normal too. Tired, which working adults has enough sleep.. anyway, the surgery is fixed on 6 September.

Cancel HK trip with Jen. I really wanted to go, she’s disappointed, so am i. But health is more important, beside my family won’t allow me to go.. I am so glad that her fiancé managed to substitute me.

I really needed a break, to sit at the beach and do nothing but i can’t. The responsible little me know that I am going to be on 1 month hospitalisation leave, so I shouldn’t take any more leave. But the other side of me is dying from pretending to be normal.

This is just a common surgery yet I wasn’t allow to do what I wanted to do.. why is it so hard? What if someday, i caught something more serious than cysts and there isn’t any chance to do the simple things that I want?

Vin & I went for a pre-plan trip to Avani resort in Malaysia. Sitting at the balcony looking at the sea. The microlight flight was awesome. I learnt a couple of things when I was flying, 1) dreams do come true (2) be brave and go for the surgery ! There are more adventures ahead of me

I was also thinking about being a mum. why is it so easy for others to become a mum but my journey is so difficult? Maybe whoever up there knows that I am not 100% ready to be a mum and this is one of the tests. Being a mum scare me.. how to be a good parent? How to be responsible? The sacrifices, the time etc etc

Had a huge fight with vin 2 days before the surgery. Our biggest fight.. his work and me. We are okie now. Seeking the balance is not easy.

One of the happiest moments was Sentosa and cycling. A trip to the beach !! vin promised to bring me back to the beach when I recover *tears*
Will blog again about 6 September !

– G

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16months

16 months. No result.

That’s what push me to go for medical check-up.

 Long story short.

 I have cysts in both ovaries.

 Day 1 – bad, took the day off, called & cried to 4 person !

Day 2 – I dunno what to do with myself, went to office, felt stupid going to work

Day 3 – met my insurance agent for yearly review, found my options

Day 4 – life as normal

Let’s see.

-G

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NDP Preview 2014

So happy, NDP live !
Thank you Kervin for bringing me along ! 🙂

very precious entrance ticket

goodies bag !

look at the crowd !

can you see them?

here they come !!

..dreams are made of this..

parade going on

love love this !

fireworks !

raining !!

the end !

Happy Birthday Singapore !

– G

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okinawa: day 4

last day in japan

going for breakfast !

love the noodles !

nice coffee

on the train ! hahaha ! pasta with bread

lunch at Lawson ! i like the fried rice ! nice

and the mini-cup noodles

haha ! using ntuc cloth bag

waiting for food at the airport

*lunch at airport

cool ! can watch the planes

transit in hk! we had tim sum at the airport

lotsa food & gifts !

reached home at 1am, slept at 2am, went to work the next day ! hha super tiring but fun fun trip

we love japan ! the pple are nice & friendly 🙂

– G

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everything in its time

Gave myself a week to think about what I want to do with my life and i decided … volunteer

I am at a prefect stage in life:
– financial stability meaning some savings
– pumpkin has a stable career
– we don’t have kids
– I am 32, not young enough that I do stupid things, not too old that I have lotsa responsibilities and I am willing to take risk.

I have been working for nearly 12 years, all these time for money and stability in life. Should I start doing things for others? I am not crazy or brave enough to quit my current job and do volunteer full time.. so my short term plan… why not go for short trips, mission trips. Maybe a week ? it might be what I need at this stage..

I felt that I am an appreciative person but I seem to forget how fortunate I am. Taking work for granted, holidays, good life.. all for granted.

As for long term plan.. I thought of working for non-profit organisations. I did a quick goggle search and found lotsa jobs available.

It is a little scary… I used to know what to expect year in year out, but now, nope. Who know where I will be next year. Its scary, fun and exciting !

– G

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okinawa: day 3

in the lift ! going for breakfast

waiting for the bus.. 1 hour journey to the cave

the awesome cave

its 400m but felt like the cave goes on and on…

total silence in the cave

going back up to civilisation

borrowed the umbrella from the hotel

hehe, our first time dressing up !

shared a curry rice ! they love luncheon meat

castle

imagine myself to be a ninja master

hehe, having fun !

ninja

shoes in bag

tried this at a food court

supper again !

– G

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3

What? Has this become the new norm in my life?

I had high hopes.. planned my retirement in this organisation. Well, it was a good plan until reality strike!

Endless things to learn, lotsa events to organise and execute.
But, laughter? Not so much.

I realised something today… its been 4 months and when its time to decide, I actually had no colleagues to talk to. It took less than 3months for me to forge friendships at my previous workplace.. but what happened here?

Jia You Minying, hang in there for 2 years.
Jia You Minying, hang in there for 1 year
Jia You Minying, hang in there for 10 months.

Ha… i don’t have the energy to cheer myself anymore. I can ignore the negative energy at work, I can suck it up when big boss gave me an earful, I can run around the whole day, I can start early and end late but I CANNOT stand being label as hypocrite.

I don’t deserve it.

We had a 2 day event and the person that fully appreciate my effort is actually pumpkin. Came home, late dinner with me, a handshake from pumpkin ‘well done, minying’

That’s all I need.
That’s all I wanted.

Not drama.
Not tears.
Not being accuse of something that I am not.

‘’when we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.’’

Life is too short.

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Okinawa: day 2

today is the big day !

here comes the train !

 

 

waiting for coach bus ! clean city,fresh air, small cars.. hehe

pit stop after 1 hour !

love the view

sunny day ! perfect

arrived !

we didnt know the aquarium is located right next to the beach

the cute entrance ticket

meal beside the huge tank ! fried rice& taco rice

star attraction !

dolphins

7 hours of air time, 2 hours land just to see the giant whale shark !! awesome

above the tank ! cool

please dont break

one happy pumpkin

too bad we missed the dolphin show

waiting for coach bus ! another 2 hours …

clean street

the coach bus

hahaha ! the lady told me to put on the face mask before trying on the clothes. i had more fun with the mask den the clothes ! :))

ramen ! look, there’s only 1 fishcake and 1 slice of meat..all veg !

his with butter !! ekk

lotsa food in their supermarket

LOOOK !!! at the instant noodles

paid, carry the basket to a packing table and DIY !

supper ! i thought its fishball.. its not.

*i had a rice-thing everyday ! at least 2-3 of it ! hehe

– G